An Amazing and Powerful Home Birth Story

Sunday night I thought labor could be starting, was having some light cramping and got in a warm bath, cramping stopped during sleep that night. 

Monday contractions started around 10pm and immediately felt intense. I was feeling cramping front and back, feeling nauseous, clammy, and panicked. I threw up a few times and continued working through contractions through the night. Called my doula, Rebecca, over around 4am Tuesday as I was feeling tense in my right back/hip and hadn't found relief from that. I wanted to work to get baby into a better position before labor got further along. We did exaggerated side lying and fire hydrant, got baby out of my hip. I was able to lay down and rest comfortably and contractions slowed down. Thinking things would pick up eventually I told my work that baby was on their way and I'd be signing off for maternity leave. After a few hours of rest, Rebecca went home around 6am, contractions eventually stopped completely around 10am. I took the day to just hang out with the kids and sleep after a night of little rest. 

Wednesday cramping started again in the morning just after I had planned to work that day. Same intensity and right hip tension as I experienced Monday night. Rebecca came over again around 9am to help with the positioning like before. We got baby out of my hip and I was able to rest between contractions with side lying for a while. We spent the day working through contractions on the ball, lying in bed, on the floor, and walking around the house. I was struggling to keep any food down and continued to throw up each time I ate applesauce or honey. I could keep down sips of water, but if I ate anything I'd empty my stomach again. By dinner time contractions were slowing down again, I was ready for some sleep and Rebecca went home. I was still having contractions, but they were low intensity and 15-30 minutes apart. I went to bed for the night but was still waking for the contractions. Around midnight (12am Thursday) the intensity of the contractions picked up and they were a bit closer together, maybe 10-15 minutes apart though I wasn't timing them. I had a contraction where I felt a pop and thought "my water just broke". I stayed laying in bed still through a few more contractions where I felt baby moving around a lot, like he was adjusting his position. I got up from bed and went to the toilet and confirmed my water had broken and was clear of meconium. I woke my husband and told him my water broke. I had a few more contractions and we agreed they were more intense and Rebecca should come over. I returned to the toilet for a few contractions and told my husband I think we should have my midwife come over; something felt different in the contractions. I could feel pressure towards my butt that wasn't there before. He was concerned that baby was coming before anyone was going to get here and I assured him that I wasn't that far along but this was the time to call the midwife because baby was on his way. 

Rebecca arrived first and was soon followed by my midwife, both close to 2am. They could tell this was go time and I was in active labor working the contractions. Baby hadn't moved back into my hip and was now moving down through my pelvis. Contractions weren't in my back at all, mostly in my belly with most intensity like a band around my low belly. I could tell this wasn't an issue with my scar or a uterine rupture as it was only during the actual contractions and seemed to be following baby downward. Hip squeezes and sacral pressure didn't really relieve any discomfort, but having hands on me to ground me was powerful in staying present and calm throughout the contractions. 

When I hit transition, I was ready for labor to be over and I vocalized this through nearly every contraction; ranging from "I want this to be over", "I am so tired", "I'm hungry and exhausted", to "I just want to get out of my body" and "I don't think I can do this any longer". Rebecca and my midwife held space for me and held me, letting me hug, lean on, and squeeze them through contractions. I was leaning over the bed, on hands a knees, standing and swaying, squatting, and sitting on my ball between contractions or laying on the bed. At some point I sat on the toilet through a few contractions. After a few contractions, had enough and got back up to standing and swaying. I remember feeling a lot of pressure in my vagina and had a mental battle trying to figure out if it was time to push. I finally said out loud through a contraction that I was almost dancing on my tip toes trying to shake the feeling out of my body "I'm not ready to push yet." At that moment 3 things became clear in my mind 1) this was not yet the time to push if I was questioning it, 2) I was afraid to push because of how hard it had been with Kai getting him to make progress through the birth canal and maintain that progress 3) I felt like labor was taking forever and my birth team had been there for hours. My midwife and Rebecca both continued to speak calmness over me and assured me no one was worried about the time or how long it takes, things were progressing just like they should. 

After what felt like hours, but was only maybe 30 minutes, I was through transition and feeling ready to push. At this point, I was moving back and forth between being on my hands and knees or half lunging. I tried pushing with a few contractions but couldn't find the rhythm. I sat back on my heels and took some deep breaths with each following contraction and NER kicked in. I could feel I had to work with the reflex but I would either be breathing out and pushing with the reflex or breathing out and fighting against the reflex. As I started grunting with each contraction I could feel his head moving down inside. I'm not sure how many pushes it took, he made slow and steady progress down. Through each contraction I had to stay focused to push just a bit longer than I felt like I could, just when I felt spent if I pushed a little more, he would move down. I felt like I had found my rhythm with the contractions and we were making consistent progress that I could feel. I kept feeling for his head with my hands but wasn't feeling him yet. I felt his head starting to crown at the ring of fire and kept the pushing rhythm going. I suddenly got a cramp in my right hamstring, my midwife rubbed it out through a contraction and then I was back in the zone. It took several contractions to get him through that and I started feeling for his head again and was feeling something but wasn't understanding it was his head (he had so much hair I didn't know I was feeling his head). I kept pushing and could tell his head was close to being born. I pushed as much as I could through a few more contractions and his head was out. I felt so much relief at that point and needed to catch my breath for a minute. The contractions seemed like they paused for a minute too to give me that moment to breathe. I kept trying to sit back on my heels again, but Rebecca, my midwife , and my husband kept telling me not to sit on his head so I eventually turned to lay down on my side. With the next contraction I pushed the rest of his body out into my hands and pulled him onto my chest. His cord was short so I didn't pull him up too far. I had help taking off my shirt, and he nestled on my chest. He was bloody, but didn't have much if any vernix left. He was born at 4:13am after about 30mins of pushing. The placenta followed within a few minutes with another small push.

I know I had the right people with me to hold space for me, encourage me, and speak wisdom to me during my labor. I could fully trust in my body and my team fully trusted in my body, and I trusted my team. I felt so cared for and respected, I didn't even need to verbalize my wishes to not be checked or catch my baby, it was just a given that I would be the power during my birth. I had zero cervical checks, no coached pushing, no one told me how to do things unless I asked for help. When I asked to hold someone to be held or rubbed or spoken to it was done without question and I felt so safe and supported. This was my third birth, second home birth and vaginal birth after cesarean. 

Such a beautiful birth to witness and now read in your own words. Thank you for sharing, Lexi. -Rebecca